I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
