drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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