I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
