I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
