So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
