There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
