i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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