where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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