god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
