well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
