there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
