Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
