I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
