my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I have fence marks all over my body
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
