i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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