Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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