physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
