How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
