Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
