he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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