I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
