it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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