I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize