I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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