I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
