VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
