I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize