She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
