he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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