she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
