I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
