I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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