I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
