I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
