Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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