She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
