We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
