im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
