Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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