Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize