My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
