he puts the penis in happiness.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
