8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
