Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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