He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
