it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
