Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I have already put on my inside pants.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
