whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
