She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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