I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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