I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
