Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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