It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
