Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
