No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
