i may or may not be watching the land before time
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
