i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
