We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
