in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
