a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
