Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
